World Cup Cricket 2007: sneW

Here I am sharing the lighter side of the news associated with ICC World Cup 2007. Most of the content here is work of fiction - mainly to amuse the readers - any serious readers, pls. forgive me for my insensitivity to your and many others sentiments

Hail Tendulkar:
Tendulkar is expected to be the Star Indian batsmen - every countryman loves, worships, respects. One way or the other, the money that belongs to millions of Indians, gets siphoned into paying the big buck prizes to players like Tendulkar & Dhoni. And in return, all we ask is to show some commitment to the game which brought you all these virtues.
Well, atleast Tendulkar showed that recently - how ? I just came to know that on 3/22 (yes, the day before the do or die match against Sri Lanka), out dear S A C H I N was busy in a ribbon cutting ceremony at late night - no wonder he scored "1 less than 100" against Sri Lanka - its just the way you look at it : 100 -1 = 99 (what Indians expect), 100 -1 = 0 (what Sachin scores as does not feel culprit).

Hey Dravid - Thanks a million for losing:
First of all, thanks to Amit, my friend for the contributing to this article on my blog.
Now, many many many thanks to Dravid and his boys for losing this game for the population of India. If india would have won the match (dreams sometimes come true....), it would have played another 6 matches of super eight before it would have got out in the semifinals. Now,
6 matches * 8 hours per match = 48 hours
10 crore viewers * 48 hours = 480 crore hours of man power
Assumming on an average 1 man hour in India is equivalent to Rs 25/- of productivity.
480 crore * 20= 12000 crore Rs saving.
Compare that to the Indian Railway Budget - Lalloo ji - ka kahet ho - dravid se gau mata ka gobar saaf karaenge kaa??

India's equation in World Cup 2007 - Latest:
So, now that India once again fulfilled its resolutions to uplift the desolutes, the minorities - in this context - the small neighbouring countries of Bangladesh & SriLanka, the only chance for India to still, yes....I said STill,....yes...yes..yes.......I said STILL make it to the Super 8 round - is for Bermuda to win against Bangladesh. Current standings:
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Country    Points    NRR
SriLanka        6        + 4
India              2        + 2
Bangladesh    2        - 2
Bermuda        0        - 5
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In case Bermuda wins on Sunday, the final standings will be:
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Country    Points    NRR
SriLanka        6        + 4
India              2        + 2
Bangladesh    2        - 2
Bermuda        2        - 4
-------------------------------
and - India will move into: >> Super 8 ROUND.
ELSE, India will move into: >> Super 8 MOTEL (I dont think they will dare return to India after today's match).
So, in order to ascertain that Bermuda wins against Bangladesh, Dravid and Chapel offerred Bangladesh to borrow any 3 players from Indian side & strengthen Bangladesh side.
Bangladesh's answer:
"C'mon man - are you kidding ? Are you planning to go for the Indian Laughter Challenge ?
Even if we agree with the offer - which players you think we should take ?
Sehwag ? Who hits a good score once every 10-15 matches - and has already fulfilled his quota recently for the rest of the world cup - agreed, that he might be one of the greatest batsman in the world, but we might be better off rather taking his new traditional Indian dresses.
Ganguly ? With all due respect - few more succesful games - and the indian ad campaigners will pre-occupy him so much with non-cricketing assignments, that he will be no better than the rest of Indian tigers - we better go for his Pepsi ad assignments.
Robin Uththappa ? Who finished all his blasting performances before entering world cup - now good for nothing ?
Tendulkar ? The less we talk about him, the better - agreed, he has been the best batsman in the world, but we will be better off vying for his Ferrari.
Yuvi ? We believe we have more consistent players - agreed, he has been one of the best fielders in the world,but we would be better off rather having his girlfriend.
Dravid ? The one time wall - now gettings cracks in it - dont know when the wall breaks - we would better like to get all his female fanhood.
Dhoni ? Who now forgot to "dhona" - time has come to instead do his "dhulai" - cut all his hair - and make him walk the streets bald and face blackened out - he would better get a role in movies and stop playing cricket.
Bhajji ? First give him a lesson in "Team Play" and how to do "Spin Bowling". Tell him that he is a middle order tail ender - his job is to come and keep his wicket and do some hitting - not try some blind hitting, waste balls and lose wicket - what da' h@#$ happenned to his "DOOSRA" & "TEESRA" & @#$#
Kumble ? He better go back to engineering - his flippers are good ONLY against floppers (flop teams - like India).
Zahir ? Ask him to become full time bawarchi (cook) and take care of his restaurant back home. He too needs a good lesson in "Team Play".
Agarkar / Munaaf ? Wonder how come selectors think them (with such slow run-ups and lack of aggressiveness) to be strike bowlers ?
So, keep your players with yourself - only Indian selectors can be blind enough to take them into Indian team - not us.
We will have better chances to defeat Bangladesh with our own Bermuda players rather than borrowing players from your Indian team.